The Achiever-Enneagram #3
Success-oriented, pragmatic, adaptable, excelling, driven, and energetic. But a Three’s strengths are also challenges.
In “Best Self,” Threes usually exhibit the following:
- Goal Focused
- Self-assured, attractive, and charming
- Ambitious, competent, and energetic
- Diplomatic and poised
- Inspires others through their accomplishments
As a Three, your resume reveals a long list of accomplishments. You achieve things. You are the “star” among your peers and acquaintances. People look up to you because of your graciousness and personal accomplishments.
As a healthy Three, you know how good it feels to develop yourself and contribute your abilities to the world. You enjoy motivating others to greater personal achievements than others thought they were capable of. You are well regarded and popular among your peers. Healthy Threes embody the best in a culture. You inspire others to see their hopes and dreams.
Everybody admires Threes’ ability to work harder than anybody else. In tune with their goals, Threes are gifted at figuring out what they want and what they have to do to get it.
A Threes’ strengths are also challenges
Threes have a deep desire to feel valuable and worthwhile, but deep down may also feel worthless.
Seeing their dreams as a “must have”, relationships and activities take a back seat with the people they love.
Status-conscious, overly concerned with image and driven toward accomplishment cause a Three to cut corners in order to quickly get something done (think Bernie Madoff).
In the headlong rush to achieve whatever they believe will make them more valuable, Threes become so alienated from themselves that they no longer know what they truly want, or what their real feelings or interests are. An easy prey for self- deception, deceit and falseness of all kinds takes them further away from their own “Essential Self”. Slowly, their inner core and their “heart’s desire” is left behind until they no longer recognize it.
What will help “balance” out a Three?
Friends and family are paramount. Learn to lean into those relationships and turn at least one social activity in your schedule into a “must”. You can’t sacrifice that time to do more work. Work on your relationships. You will put less pressure on yourself at work and develop a healthier relationship with your job.
This could mean picking one night a week to get together with a friend or respond to phone calls. It could mean picking a specific time each day to respond to texts and let people know you care. This could be a quick ten minutes after dinner or when you take your lunch break.
Start with small steps, gain awareness, and grow from there.
If you are an Enneagram Three, what strengths and challenges may have followed you through life?