The Giver-Enneagram #2

Sometimes known as “Helpers”

Enneagram Twos make an impact on the world with their generosity and personable nature. Being needed and stepping in when someone unfortunate needs a protector or confidante are typical traits. But what is it really like to be a Two?

What strengths and weaknesses may have followed you through life?  

In “Best Self,” Twos usually exhibit the following:

• Relationships are the most important thing.
• What people need or want will be noticed.
• Putting others first.
• Feeling easily rejected when there are interpersonal problems.
• Enjoy giving advice to friends who have problems.
• Often compliment people.
• Try to get attention by pleasing people or showing off.
• Have compassion for vulnerable or hurting people or animals.

If you are a Two, You have a strong sense of intuition about people. You instinctively know what people need in an emotional or physical sense. You also tend to know what people want to hear. This makes you adept at giving proper compliments and encouraging those who are struggling. 

The same things that make Twos stand out can also be burdensome

Putting others first isn’t always a good thing. There is the tendency to set aside one’s own desires and needs in an effort to be selfless. So, when you are not selfless, you tend to shame yourself – and when you are selfless, you develop a sense of pride. 

As a result, You may give and give until You are depleted and have lost sight of who You are. The slightest disharmony can cause exhaustion and a sense of being overwhelmed.

As a Two, You may believe that good people do not have needs” and asking for help – asking for anything – is wrong.  As a result, You may carry heavy inner struggles that nobody knows about. Always the listening ear, You sometimes fail to allow others to listen to your problems.  Solving other people’s problems becomes your goal. Helping other people thrive can become your focus.

If your generosity is not reciprocated, You might harbor resentment, anger, and bitterness. In turn You might try to draw attention to yourself and what you’ve done. If You feel taken advantage of You can become boastful and superior, always reminding others of how much they need You.

How to Solve the Problem

You have such a big heart. If You seek to spend time with people solely because You enjoy their company, or check in with your friends just because You care about them, people will sense your genuineness and be drawn to it. Try to look at your motivations before You seek out something emotionally.

• Are You looking for validation?
• Do You need to feel needed?
• Do You want warmth and connection?

There is nothing wrong with these motivations.  Ask yourself what it is You actually want in a relationship or friendship. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but you’ll be rewarded in the long run with deeper, meaningful relationships. 

Awareness is key. Keep it simple. Stay real.